3.1 The power of "kizukai" in Japanese culture

Author: Kim Christian Botho Pedersen (Memorizeitall / Japan Trade Advisor)

© Kim Christian Botho Pedersen / www.japantradeadvisor.com 

Published on August 8, 2015

One of the reasons why it feels so profoundly rewarding to live in or visit #Japan is the Japanese people's constant use of kizukai (気遣い). Somehow, Japanese individuals are able to make you feel as though you are at the center of the universe.

#Kizukai as a core element of Japanese nature

"Kizukai" is deeply embedded in the nature of Japanese people. While the degree of "kizukai" may vary from person to person, everyone who has interacted with Japanese individuals has likely experienced it. Whether visiting a friend, a store, a restaurant, doing #business_in_Japan, or even bumping into someone on the train, the attention and care Japanese people display, even to a total stranger, is remarkable.

What does "kizukai" really mean?

The Japanese word "kizukai" loosely translates to "paying attention" in English. However, the actual meaning is far more profound. It encompasses a long cultural history and a set of unwritten rules governing how to behave without causing offense, how to maintain harmonious relationships, and how to interact with consideration and respect. It could be seen as the very essence of #Japanese_etiquette.

Examples of #kizukai in practice

A fundamental aspect of kizukai is the awareness of one's own position or status in relation to others. This understanding determines appropriate behavior, speech, and social boundaries.

From a young age, Japanese are taught to recognize their position within a group. For instance, a student does not argue with a teacher, as the teacher holds a higher status and superior knowledge. This dynamic continues at home, where parents rank above children, and later in life within the company and society through systems like the #senpai_kohai hierarchy.

In the workplace, titles such as "Bucho" (head of a department) or "Shacho" (president) command significant respect. This structure forms what could be referred to as Japan's "social grammar." The rules are implicit yet universally understood among Japanese.

Japanese are constantly aware of their status in social interactions, within families, companies, communities, and even with strangers. This awareness defines expected behavior. Failing to understand one's position often leads to being perceived as "rude," even if many quietly agree with the person's sentiment.

Edoshigusa: The idealized etiquette movement

A modern movement called Edoshigusa attempts to trace contemporary Japanese manners back to the Edo era. Though the historical validity of these practices is debated, they represent the ideal image of Japanese etiquette for many today.

Examples include:

• Kasa-kashige: Tilting your umbrella to avoid splashing others

• Toki dorobo: Avoiding being late or unannounced to avoid stealing someone's time

• Ukatsu-ayamari: Apologizing first when someone steps on your foot, saying you were careless

• Sakurai shigusa: Refraining from saying "but" or contradicting others directly, especially superiors

Some of these rules, such as Kitsuen shigusa (not smoking where prohibited), reflect modern values and could not realistically have originated in the 17th century. Still, the movement underscores how Japanese society wants to perceive itself: considerate, structured, and harmonious.

The unwritten rulebook

Whether historically accurate or not, the behaviors emphasized by Edoshigusa align with contemporary expectations of #Japanese_manners or kizukai. These rules, though unwritten, are universally understood in Japan. They dictate social interaction at every level, from family life to corporate hierarchy.

Understanding this framework helps us understand why Japanese society functions with such fluidity and why foreigners may sometimes struggle to navigate its nuances

"Kizukai" is a uniquely Japanese form of social intelligence. It reflects deep cultural values, social awareness, and consideration for others. If you wish to succeed in building relationships or conducting business in Japan, understanding and demonstrating kizukai is important. It is not merely a matter of etiquette; it is a vital social skill rooted in centuries of tradition.

While kizukai plays a deeply important role in Japanese culture, one that shapes relationships, communication, and behavior in ways that may be invisible to outsiders, foreign businesspeople are not expected to fully grasp or practice kizukai in the same way a Japanese would.

Japanese colleagues and clients typically understand that kizukai is a uniquely Japanese way of thinking and acting. What matters most from a foreign business partner is not perfect adaptation, but rather basic good manners and genuine respect.

So while it’s helpful to be aware of kizukai, there’s no need to feel pressure to master it. In most situations, polite, professional behavior and clear communication are more than enough. Showing courtesy, avoiding arrogance, and making an effort to understand the Japanese way of doing business will already be appreciated and respected.

In short, kizukai is a part of the Japanese mindset, but foreign professionals can succeed without becoming Japanese. Be respectful, be sincere, relax and the rest will follow.